How to stop anger in our homes
When people get married, they have a couple of things in their minds as they are often full of hope for their future and their new marriage. They have dreams of good things to come and a happy life with their partner.
Throughout history, marriage has been largely organized by two mutually coexisting
individuals, a man, and a woman to be precise. And as it has always been, we cannot get a
100 percent perfect union as we are all tending to perfection.
When this couple with different personalities, preferences, and peculiarities (will prefer to call them the 3 P’s) live together, they are bound to become irritated or angry sometimes, and as we already know, marriage provides motivation to learn how to manage anger, which often arises from other emotions: fear, hurt, or frustration (primary emotions).
Anger is a potential killer of marriage, if not tackled from its ‘infancy’ would generate into a ‘Goliath’ that would eventually disorientate our marriage. Anger is often seen as a secondary emotion. So, what can we do to forestall this ‘time bomb’ from exploding in our own very eyes? Hereunder are guidelines on how we can potentially manage anger in our marriage through the holy book:
Have a forgiving heart- Ephesians 4:32
It is imperative as Christians we are called to be kind and compassionate, and most
importantly have a forgiving heart as our father in heaven has always forgiven us.
Keeping this in mind will help us in our everyday life especially when our spouse or partner had wronged us. Forgiveness involves uncovering anger from one’s family of origin, from past relationships, and from one’s marriage, and then deciding to work on letting go of this anger without misdirecting it at one’s spouse, children, or others. It also involves choosing to forgive immediately the person in the present who has aroused one’s anger. Forgiveness therapy is a psychologically proven method for diminishing and resolving the damage caused by excessive anger. Forgiveness can produce many benefits. It can help individuals forget past painful experiences and free them from the subtle control of people and events associated with these events. It can facilitate reconciliation between spouses and between them and other family members.
Encompass yourself with love- 1Corinthians 13:4
Sometimes, we seem to misunderstand or misinterpret that word called ‘Love’ but it is all-encompassing. The bible gives us an insight into what love entails and it is not farfetched
o Love is patient
It is the perfect description of God. This kind of patient love bears with offenses and is slow to repay or punish those who offend. However, it does not imply indifference, which would ignore an offense.
o Love is kind
Kindness is like patience but refers to how we treat others. It especially implies a love that
reacts with goodness towards those who have been ill-treated. This kind of love may take
the form of a gentle rebuke when careful rebuke is needed.
o Love does not show any form of envy
This kind of love appreciates and rejoices when others are blessed with good things and
does not allow envy and resentment to take root. This love is not displeased when others
o Love does not boast or brag
This kind of love does not exalt itself over others. It recognizes that our achievements are
not based on our own abilities or worthiness.
o Love is not proud
This love is not overly self-confident or insubordinate to God and others. It is not
characterized by a sense of self-importance or arrogance.
o Love is not rude.
This kind of love cares about others, their customs, likes, and dislikes. It respects the
feelings and concerns of others even when they are different from our own. It would never
act dishonorably or disgrace another person. o Love is not self-seeking
This kind of love puts the good of others before our own good. It places God first in our lives, above our own ambitions. This love does not insist on getting its own way.
o Love is not easily angered
Like the characteristic of patience, this kind of love does not rush towards anger when others do us wrong. This love does not hold a selfish concern for one’s own rights.
o Love keeps no record of wrongs
This kind of love offers forgiveness, even when offenses are repeated many times. It is a
love that doesn’t keep track of every wrong thing that people do and hold it against them.
o Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
This kind of love seeks to avoid involvement in evil and helps others steer clear of evil, too. It
rejoices when loved ones live according to truth.
o Love always protects
This kind of love will always expose the sin of others in a safe way that will not bring harm,
shame, or damage, but will restore and protect.
o Love always trusts
This love gives others the benefit of the doubt, sees the best in others, and trusts in their
o Love always hopes
This kind of love hopes for the best where others are concerned, knowing that God is ever
faithful to complete the work he started in us. This hope filled love encourages spouses to
o Love always perseveres
This kind of love endures even through the most trying times.
o Love never fails
This kind of love goes beyond the boundaries of ordinary love. It is eternal, divine, and will
It is important we speak the truth in love- Ephesians 4:15
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ”- Ephesians 4:15
This is indeed a no brainer as we are enjoined to speak the truth. We need to as a matter of fact be always truthful to our partners. Though it might not be easy, it is the best thing to do, especially if we want to curtail anger in our home.
We are indeed who we are and, we can influence the way other people see us, especially in our homes. Anger is a great destroyer of homes (if we allow it), but the fact remains that love, at the end of the day, conquers all.